Sometimes we say a relationship is stagnant. But there’s no such thing.
We’re either coming together or drifting apart. This always feels different to the people you lead. Sometimes they feel something that you don’t feel. You remember this, don’t you? You were wondering if your boss was mad. Not at all. They just had 137 other things on their plate.
Now it’s your turn.
Here's some pressure you can let go of. Your boss a decade ago had to know everything.
Today your team doesn't need you to know more than they do about everything. AI already knows more than either of you. What they need is someone who stays honest in a hard conversation, holds a boundary when it costs something, and leads with humility when they get it wrong.
Above all, they need someone who knows them, and I'd add, understands themselves and how that relationship interacts between each other.
We’re racing through a new era of how we learn, how we take in information; that emerging leader doesn’t need 3 quick steps from you nearly as much as they need you. Your presence. Your time.
Being a known leader is costly. It requires authenticity and vulnerability.
Most of us couldn't spell vulnerability until we were 40. “Because I said so” never really worked, but today it will get you laughed out of the room, and you will be irrelevant before you ever begin.
So you must know you, and you must know them. But in order to get there, you have to invest some time and curiosity in who you are and who these people are.
You have people looking at you. What’s their Enneagram? Working Genius? StrengthsFinder? Thinking Wavelength? Is it written down? Do you know, and as importantly, do you know yours?
Then…do you know the gaps between them and yourself? Get curious. Find a way to understand it. I interview people every week, and I'm shocked at how many leaders in their 30s and 40s have no understanding of a simple personality test and no recollection of taking one. Your emerging leaders do.
The test isn't the point. The conversation it begins is.
The good news is you can train your favorite AI tool about you and about them, with their permission, after you have invested and understand. Ask it questions and help it help you in these coaching conversations that you must do.